Archive for ‘Funny Stuff’

February 16, 2012

My Wardrobe Essential: The Old Sweatshirt

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We played the game of “Life” not long ago. At times, I get distracted during these board games and, even though it’s usually just the three of us playing–my husband, my son Ethan and me–I lose track of who’s turn it is.

It’s your turn, Mrs. Wear-A-Sweatshirt-Every-Day.

Ethan didn’t say it in a snarky way. Just matter-of-fact. I had no retort, other than, “I don’t wear the same sweatshirt every day” and “I

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February 2, 2012

My Social Media Addiction.

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* Revised from a piece I wrote for elephantjournal.com. Photo by Edgar Montano. That is not me in the photo.

Beating addiction ain’t easy.

I would have shared this with you sooner, but I got a bit distracted by twitter and a few facebook updates from “friends” I don’t really know-know.

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January 31, 2012

2020: Newt admits climate change occuring, heads to moon. (Cartoon).

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Cartoon by Joe Mohr.

Thanks to Joe Mohr for the cartoon.

Newt Gingrich said this the other day:

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January 24, 2012

Judy from Schaumburg. A Better Oprah. {Video}

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Photo courtesy The Judy from Schaumburg Show

I am a new fan of the Judy from Schaumburg show.

Although a bit obsessed with her own cleavage, Judy* is both charming and

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January 3, 2012

To Run or Not To Run? 7 Excuses.

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Photo by RXAphotos

Whether you believe you can or believe you can’t, you’re probably right. ~ Henry Ford

There should be no question. The fact is this: I can run. But…

7 excuses not to run. Bonus: Includes counter-excuses.

Note: I don’t own a treadmill or belong to a ‘club’, so running outside is my only option.

  1. It’s cold (today’s excuse). I’ve checked the weather no less than 15 times  today. It’s 25 degrees and feels like 16. That’s damn cold. Counter excuse: So the f**k what? I have
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November 17, 2011

Dancing with the Stars: Why I Will Lose

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Photo: ABC

I cannot dance.

I can play the piano, I can maintain a beat. I’ve always wanted to dance. To glide and shimmy and groove. Watching Glee makes me

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November 8, 2011

Jaws Wired Shut. A True Story.

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Photo by mikemann05 | flickr.com

5 Years Ago…

The ominous double doors came into view between my feet—two bumps beneath the blanket, like a gun site—and the hospital bed came to a halt. My husband, Craig, touched my palm to his lips as the nurse pointed him in the direction of the waiting room.

Inching forward, the bed triggered open the doors and Craig’s hand—my safety line—slipped away. “You’ll be fine,” I heard him say

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November 2, 2011

The Day I Turned 46. (Ugh.)

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NOTE: I wrote this last year for elephantjournal.com. Scroll to the end to find out how I’m dealing with today’s birthday.

You’re only young once. After that you have to come up with another excuse. ~ unknown

Today is my birthday. Yippee. Last year was momentous because I turned 45. Yet, other than hiding

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October 10, 2011

How I Could Die.

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credit: khf118 via flickr.com

Fortunately, that is not a photo of me.

But I imagine I would resemble that once dead. Except my hair would be curly. Possibly frizzy, depending on the day. And my teeth are in better shape. My neck might not look that smooth, either.

Anyway. Back to how I could die. Simple. Start a day

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September 27, 2011

Weird stuff I put in my mouth and sometimes swallowed.

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We swallow greedily any lie that flatters us, but we sip only little by little at a truth we find bitter.  ~Denis Diderot

There aren’t too many quotes that have to do with swallowing in the literal sense. But in my search, I found the one above and felt it worth sharing.

Anyway, I don’t know the exact chronological order of the events below, but most—if not all—happened when I was

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